Friday, March 4, 2016

Acute Distress

On Thursday, March 3, the day of the final (perhaps*) Republican debate before voters go to the polls on March 15, former Governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, dropped trou and mooned every citizen who voted for and/or supports Donald Trump. Governor Romney's speech was designed to soften up Mr. Trump so that the Fox News moderators could administer the coup d'grace before it's too late.

Whether this unholy alliance achieved the desired result remains to be seen, but if they failed, there is always the possibility of establishment Republicans joining forces with establishment Democrats to deliver the White House to Hillary Clinton.

The people who have given Mr. Trump their votes don't know what they're doing, intoned Governor Romney, the same failed candidate who savaged Newt Gingrich in the 2012 Republican primaries but who refused to utter a negative comment against President Barack Obama during the presidential campaign.

That Governor Romney would attack the front runner of his own party and not be disavowed by the RNC doesn't make sense unless one looks at the political situation as if it were a less sanguine Game of Thrones. For twenty-eight years, control of the Iron Throne White House has passed back and forth between House Democrat and House Republican: Bush-Clinton-Bush-ClintonObama. Twenty sixteen was supposed to be a return to normal, another Bush - Clinton duel. But as Robert Burns so keenly observed, the best laid schemes of mice and men (and establishment politicians) gang aft a-gley. Donald Trump unexpectedly showed up just as had Barack Obama in 2008. Once again, the old order was in disarray. Barack Obama turned out not to upset the established order of things, but Donald Trump is a total outsider, so cannot be counted on to go along to get along.

By those lights, Governor Romney's whine (sic) wasn't made from the sour grapes of a failed candidate, but rather a failed candidate being sent out to destroy a candidate who threatens to upset the status quo that has been in place for nearly three decades, a status quo of borders open to third world immigrants who keep wages artificially low, a status quo of trade deals which advantage the emerging markets which return a higher rate of investment to the rentiers, a status quo of a country rapidly becoming bilingual, a status quo of perpetual war in the Middle East which benefits the military-industrial complex, a status quo of a declining middle class and expanding income inequality where students leave college with debt they cannot ever hope to repay, a status quo where mothers and fathers are terrified that an illness will bankrupt them, a status quo where people under 30 do not understand Socialism does not work but do understand that neither does Crony Capitalism.

The current strategy is to try to deny Mr. Trump the crucial number of delegates for an outright win so that the king makers can broker the Republican convention and bestow the nomination on a candidate who can be bought. They might well succeed, but what might actually be going on is a political party in acute distress, a political party that were it a patient in an ICU would be said to be in the throes of Cheyne-Stokes Respiration** and just about ready to take its final agonal breath.***

Like Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, Governor Romney and Fox News marched out on March 3rd to take down the Donald J. Trump windmill, but they just well might have taken down the Republican Party in the process.

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*In an effort to deprive Donald Trump of the nomination, the RNC is adding debates like people add salt to popcorn, so if Fox didn't accomplish what it set out to do, who knows whether another four or five debates won't be added?

** An abnormal breathing pattern which ranges from very shallow breaths to alternating periods of apnea and deep, rapid breathing.

***Agonal respiration is an abnormal pattern of breathing characterized by gasping, labored breaths accompanied by strange vocalizations and spasmodic muscular jerks. Jerks as used here should not to be confused with a term which best applies to Governor Romney in this instance.


Thursday, March 3, 2016

De Bait

This week’s debate/Trump bash will take place tonight in Detroit, Michigan. In an effort to be fair and balanced and allow more people access to the debate, Fox has assigned Donald Trump a spot on the corner of Trumbull and Lincoln Streets. (See the twenty-five most dangerous neighborhoods in America (1).)

The other three candidates and the moderators will be at the Fox Theatre at 2211 Woodward Avenue, but good luck with getting tickets. The Republican Party has received 21,000 requests, but only 50 tickets will be available to the public (2).

Mr. Trump’s supporters are urged to join him at the corner of Trumball and Lincoln.

Rather than wait until tomorrow, Growltiger will save her dear readers the agony of watching yet another Republican slugfest, so going by what has gone before, here is her premature report on tonight's debate.

According to Fox's political pundits, Marco Rubio won, just as he has won all the debates except the one in New Hampshire where no amount of time in the spin cycle could dry him off.

John Kasich came in second, Ted Cruz third.

Donald Trump was terrible. He shouldn’t be allowed to participate because:

  • He runs with scissors.
  • He has small hands. (One of Marco Rubio’s brilliant jokes).
  • He isn’t a conservative. 
  • He donated money to Democrats in the past.
  • He may have done business with the Mafia in New York, something no businessman in New York ever does or has done. 
  • He didn't personally check out every person with whom he did business down to his/her third cousin once removed.
  • He doesn’t properly vet the people attending his rallies and white supremacists might sneak in.
  • He doesn’t have enough African-Americans at his rallies. Diamond and Silk don’t count. (3)
  • David Duke did not endorse him but that doesn’t matter because Trump has not disavowed David Duke in every sentence he speaks.
  • Thirty-five years ago a sub-contractor on the Trump Tower hired illegal (Polish) immigrants.
  • He won’t release his tax returns. Being under IRS audit is no excuse.
  • He might not be as rich as he says. 
  • He's too rich.
  • He will build a wall which will make Mexico mad and cut down on illegal immigration.
  • He won’t build a wall; he’s lying about that.
  • He’s been married three times.
  • He said Planned Parenthood does good things for impoverished women. Being against abortion isn’t good enough.
  • He’d be neutral in negotiating a peace deal between Israel and Palestine which means he doesn’t like Jews even though his daughter is one. 

Dr. Ben Carson wasn’t there. Dr. Ben paused his campaign. Not that it matters. In the previous 35 debates, the moderators didn’t ask him any questions anyway. Especially not about health care.

Speaking of the moderators. Fox News couldn’t get the Pope, Hillary Clinton or El Chapo, so they settled for Bret Baier, Megyn Kelly and Chris Wallace.

The Fox fox and her two cohorts worked all week with Fox News’s vice president of News and Washington managing editor, Bill Sammons, to come up with questions to help the political establishment, king-makers, big donors, conservative pundits destroy Donald Trump help voters decide. That Mr. Sammons’s daughter, Brooke Sammons, is Marco Rubio’s press secretary has nothing to do with Fox News’s neutrality. Only the most cynical of readers will wonder whether Senator Rubio had any inkling of the questions that would be asked beforehand.

After all, as Mark Twain says, "If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it."

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(1) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/02/most-dangerous-neighborhoods-america-detroit_n_3187931.html

(2)Tickets

(3) http://www.diamondandsilkinc.com/


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